Alexander Abian

Alexander Abian (January 1, 1923 - July 24, 1999), also known as Smbat Abian, was an Iranian-American mathematician of Armenian descent who served as a faculty professor of mathematics at Iowa State University, popularly known for his advocacy of altering the Earth's orbit (by destroying the Moon using nuclear weapons) for the benefit of humanity, and for his "Big Suck" Theory of cosmic origins.

Background
Smbat Abian was born in January 1923 at Tabriz, East Azerbaijan, Iran. After completing his schooling and earning an undergraduate degree in Iran, Abian emigrated to the United States in 1952, where he completed a master's degree at the University of Chicago and a Ph.D. at the University of Cincinnati (for his dissertation, "Invariants and Covariants of Systems of Linear Differential and Integro-Differential Equations"). Through the course of his career in mathematics, Abian authored three books and published over two hundred papers.

Radical Cosmism and the Moonless Earth

 * "ALTER EARTH'S ORBIT AND TILT - STOP GLOBAL DISASTERS AND EPIDEMICS. ALTER THE SOLAR SYSTEM. REORBIT VENUS INTO A NEAR EARTH-LIKE ORBIT TO CREATE A BORN AGAIN EARTH (1990)."

In the early 1990s, a short while prior to his retirement from the Iowa State University, Abian began publicly speaking out about his theories on means of improving the conditions of earth, in particular advocating for the re-engineering of the solar system, calling the current gravitational alignment of the planets "perverse, peevish and criminal." One means of such improvement, Abian proposed, was to detonate nuclear weapons inside the Moon, which would, by his reckoning, obliterate it, and cause the axis of the Earth to shift in such a way that all the inhabited areas will receive equal solar coverage, and that removing the Moon's gravitational influence would radically improve the planetary climate.


 * "Yes, yes, yes, we must get rid of that moronish idiotic and imbecile chunk of perverse piece of refuse THE MOON - once and for all! THE MOON must go, must be eliminated!! Enough of billions of years of the evil presence of that piece of refuse with its morbid presence hanging above our heads - enough of that terrorizing spy in the ski! that Evil watchful eye that disgusting boring  depressing piece of abomination.  We must radically change the surrounding cosmic scenario of our planet Earth, Enough of the same billion and billion of years of continuous misery of   rotten decadent pestiferous   and idiotical celestial setup surrounding our planet Earth. RADICAL CHANGE IS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. THE MOST PRACTICAL THE MOST EFFECTIVE THE MOST URGENT   RADICAL CHANGE IS  TO BLOW UP THE MOON TO SMITHEREENS AND GET RID OF ITS EVIL PRESENCE ONCE AND FOR ALL!  Moon with its dull, stupid depressing condescending and disgusting boring presence had and has the most damaging influence on human life, behavior and actions. With its tides creating in the flow of blood especially in the brain of mankind, it has created a monstrous beast of human species. we must BLOW UP THE MOON.  Do not worry, there is life and existence without MOON a much better a much healthier and interesting life. In fact the BLOWING UP OF THE MOON will jolt our planet earth and will get rid of the layers and layers of accumulated (during billion and billion of years) of filth, feculence, dregs and putridity on our planet Earth.  Politician, especially the UN representatives and the self appointed guardians of setting political systems 'for better life' on the planet Earth,   are only good for organizing banquets, cocktail parties and lavish hotel arrangements for the conduct of their useless efforts, meetings, conferences, and committees, committees, committees to 'change dictatorships to democracies' First of all UN is the most undemocratical establishment which has the temerity, nerve and obnoxiousness of 'Claiming to establish democracy in the world' The UN has a self appointed (and NOT ELECTED) FOR PERPETUITY A SECURITY COUNCIL WITH A VETO POWER! Do you understand that ? Self-appointed for perpetuity with VETO power !! and that UN professes to establish 'Democracy'- it is like Hitler appointing himself to be the president of the ISRAEL!!! UN's claiming of being the guardian of democracy is an insult to the intelligence of any reasoning human being. It is a disgustingly phony, ludicrous and obnoxious claim!!! A total unabashed insidious lie!! VETO POWER BELONGS TO A SELF APPOINTED SUPERPOWERS FOR PERPETUITY!! What a masquerade of democracy is that UN   what a disgusting mockery of humanity!   UN cannot change life on Earth, No philosopher, no politician can change the life an Earth. To jolt the Earth into a truly radical change, the surrounding celestial scenario of the planet Earth must be radically changed and for that WE MUST BLOW UP THE MOON  How to do it - very easily. There is an overabundance of nuclear fuel on the planet Earth (especially at the disposal of all those superpowers which ban the others of not creating new nuclear arsenal but which they themselves constantly augment their own nuclear arsenal. Would they let me inspect the nuclear production centers in France, Germany, U.S. Russia, England, China?? Would they let me inspect?!!)  So, I propose to locate all the nuclear explosive material on the MOON and   BLOW UP THE MOON !!!!   Just to change the 5 billion years of rotten celestial scenario surrounding the planet Earth - believe me no change can be worse that the present scenario!!! BLOW UP THE MOON !  that is the slogan and the way to the most profound radical change!"
 * "Yes, yes, yes, we must get rid of that moronish idiotic and imbecile chunk of perverse piece of refuse THE MOON - once and for all! THE MOON must go, must be eliminated!! Enough of billions of years of the evil presence of that piece of refuse with its morbid presence hanging above our heads - enough of that terrorizing spy in the ski! that Evil watchful eye that disgusting boring  depressing piece of abomination.  We must radically change the surrounding cosmic scenario of our planet Earth, Enough of the same billion and billion of years of continuous misery of   rotten decadent pestiferous   and idiotical celestial setup surrounding our planet Earth. RADICAL CHANGE IS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. THE MOST PRACTICAL THE MOST EFFECTIVE THE MOST URGENT   RADICAL CHANGE IS  TO BLOW UP THE MOON TO SMITHEREENS AND GET RID OF ITS EVIL PRESENCE ONCE AND FOR ALL!  Moon with its dull, stupid depressing condescending and disgusting boring presence had and has the most damaging influence on human life, behavior and actions. With its tides creating in the flow of blood especially in the brain of mankind, it has created a monstrous beast of human species. we must BLOW UP THE MOON.  Do not worry, there is life and existence without MOON a much better a much healthier and interesting life. In fact the BLOWING UP OF THE MOON will jolt our planet earth and will get rid of the layers and layers of accumulated (during billion and billion of years) of filth, feculence, dregs and putridity on our planet Earth.  Politician, especially the UN representatives and the self appointed guardians of setting political systems 'for better life' on the planet Earth,   are only good for organizing banquets, cocktail parties and lavish hotel arrangements for the conduct of their useless efforts, meetings, conferences, and committees, committees, committees to 'change dictatorships to democracies' First of all UN is the most undemocratical establishment which has the temerity, nerve and obnoxiousness of 'Claiming to establish democracy in the world' The UN has a self appointed (and NOT ELECTED) FOR PERPETUITY A SECURITY COUNCIL WITH A VETO POWER! Do you understand that ? Self-appointed for perpetuity with VETO power !! and that UN professes to establish 'Democracy'- it is like Hitler appointing himself to be the president of the ISRAEL!!! UN's claiming of being the guardian of democracy is an insult to the intelligence of any reasoning human being. It is a disgustingly phony, ludicrous and obnoxious claim!!! A total unabashed insidious lie!! VETO POWER BELONGS TO A SELF APPOINTED SUPERPOWERS FOR PERPETUITY!! What a masquerade of democracy is that UN   what a disgusting mockery of humanity!   UN cannot change life on Earth, No philosopher, no politician can change the life an Earth. To jolt the Earth into a truly radical change, the surrounding celestial scenario of the planet Earth must be radically changed and for that WE MUST BLOW UP THE MOON  How to do it - very easily. There is an overabundance of nuclear fuel on the planet Earth (especially at the disposal of all those superpowers which ban the others of not creating new nuclear arsenal but which they themselves constantly augment their own nuclear arsenal. Would they let me inspect the nuclear production centers in France, Germany, U.S. Russia, England, China?? Would they let me inspect?!!)  So, I propose to locate all the nuclear explosive material on the MOON and   BLOW UP THE MOON !!!!   Just to change the 5 billion years of rotten celestial scenario surrounding the planet Earth - believe me no change can be worse that the present scenario!!! BLOW UP THE MOON !  that is the slogan and the way to the most profound radical change!"

Press Coverage
Abian's theories were met with minor media attention, and most reactions were of a skeptical nature.



Resources

 * Abian's University of Iowa homepage: http://www.math.iastate.edu/abian/homepage.html (archive.org)
 * Interview with Alexander Abian on "Ordinary Iowa" (youtube.com): Part I, Part II